Hey you! Thanks for stopping by. So in my previous post, there was an interesting short story on Situationship. From the story, most of us probably get the idea of what a Situationship is. Today’s update however seeks to discuss the subject in more detail. We will look at what it is, the signs, and some other areas. Read on!
What is a Situationship?
Simply put, a Situationship is an “undefined non-committal” relationship of a sort. It is the neutral ground in between single and dating. It is not a “friends-with-benefits” either as it goes beyond casual sex. Some intimacy is built. However, the boundaries are less defined.
Top 5 Signs that you are in a Situationship;
#1 No labels: Your “relationship” has no official labels or tags. You can’t exactly call her your “girlfriend” not can she call you her “boyfriend”. You two haven’t discussed what it is you’re doing. Maybe because it’s too soon to talk about it, or one is not ready to commit to a “REALationship”.
#2 No intros: You don’t get introduced to their friends and family. If you’re often meeting up in secret or spending time away from the important people in their lives then you’re in a Situationship.
#3 Last minute or short-term plans: They don’t make the effort to carefully plan ahead. Sure, surprises are welcome in a relationship. But if things just pop up on a daily or even hourly basis (constantly) then that’s a Situationship. This is because, rather than “make time” for you, they hit you up when they’re bored for their own selfish needs.
#4 Naughty talks mostly: You two often talk dirty. Nothing serious. You don’t share your deepest fears or thoughts with each other. You prefer to live on the surface.
#5 No future convos: There’s no discussion of individual goals and couple goals. No talk about future plans. No sense of direction whatsoever. This makes your being together confusing.
Bonus addition, if they show no sign of seriousness towards commitment and openly admit (repeatedly) that they’re not ready to get serious even after knowing each other for a while now, then you’re in for a Situationship.
People end up in Situationships when they’ve recently suffered a breakup from a long-term relationship and are looking for comfort and company without upfront commitment. Or it was a one night stand and they’re waiting to see if things would get serious. Or they’re going through a phase (travelling for instance) and so don’t want to entertain anything permanent. Or they are longtime friends who for some reason lapse into it unknowingly (it becomes clear what it is once one person moves on- like our story).
Pros: It could be a fun, no strings attached affair. It gives you the opportunity to study someone without any pressure to commit as yet.
Cons: One partner usually “catches feelings” and ends up being heavily heartbroken.
If you find yourself in a Situationship and want to break things off (before you’re in too deep); first, talk to him/her about it and be straight to the point. Next, break off communication (at least for a good while cos as the saying goes “Old habits die hard”).
On the other hand, if you’re okay with what you’ve got going, at least have some clear boundaries. Decide what you want and what you do not want. But are you really okay?
Lastly, if you actually want your Situationship to become a real relationship, talk talk talk. Open communication is key! After opening up, give them some time to process (not too much time), and know for sure whether to stay or move on. Taking this direction gives a little less height to fall from, i.e if he or she rejects the idea of commitment or withdraws completely. Whatever you do, have some values.
Values lie at the core of a person’s make-up. Never compromise your values for anyone.~Unknown
I hope you find this post useful. Do like and leave a comment in the comment section below. Let love blossom.